What’s Behind the Mask?
By Leslie Sturgeon, WIW Founder
When the clock struck midnight on January 1st we never could have predicted the year ahead. We went from lofty goals and optimism to so much uncertainty and a complete upheaval in our norm. Who knew that toilet paper would become a commodity and that a routine trip into a store would become a big ordeal (if it was even possible to get in there)? We started realizing that hugs were a “luxury” we took for granted and hand sanitizer was the fragrance of the year.
During this Covid 19 crisis and the civil rights / racism riots, I have done some soul searching . . .
- What does all this mean to my health and those of the people I love the most? As a single woman, if I should become sick who will care for me and my dogs?
- How will I survive financially while at the same time lending a helping hand to others far worse off than me?
- How do I lead and what, if anything, does my Women Inspiring Women community need from me?
- What are my own needs – emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc.?
- How do I deal with judgment if my actions / attitudes are different than others? Do I care if there is judgment? Am I judging others?
- How can I get bottles of wine to my peeps who were home schooling for the first time?
- How do I love on friends and members who had to say goodbye to loved ones through technology vs. holding their hand as they passed on?
- If I am not getting involved in peaceful protests for George Floyd and others, am I part of the problem and not the solution?
- How, as a middle-aged, middle-class white woman living in rural New Hampshire could I possibly understand racism?
- After we get through this crisis, what does our world look like? What have we learned? How have we been changed? What’s next?
- Isn’t it cool that we can still recognize people under their masks?!
- Can we earn some extra moola if we return all those empty bottles of wine to Maine? (New Hampshire really should join the rest of New England and have a “bottle deposit” policy again. Afterall, we bought the booze from ourselves! The “circle of life” you know!)
- Would it be okay if I never wore a bra again? I am kind of digging the stay-at-home way of life.
All of this introspection has led me to ask . . . what is behind the mask that we have been encouraged to use and what is the story that our eyes are telling?
If you were able to look past my snazzy mask and my unwaxed eyebrows into my baby blues, you would see someone grappling with the above and more. Would you see someone filled with unwavering optimism, compassion, understanding and love? What else would my eyes tell you?
What I have definitely learned is that I have to be okay with ME, and how I show up in the world. While others rush in early on, I step back and take in all the information while gaining an understanding of myself. I will then possibly make a move (I am a Capricorn after all). Neither approach is right or wrong. What is most important is that we have respectful adult conversations to better understand other people’s decisions and actions. The old “Golden Rule.” I want to be heard and I will hear you as well. You won’t see me burning down a building to make my point. I am more apt to listen and hug it out (when allowed to do so LOL). Oh how I can’t wait to give full body hugs! Be forewarned, I plan to make it uncomfortable!
What would I see when I look past your mask and into your eyes?
One thing I think we can agree on . . . we are forever changed as a result of this year. And masks really do suck the joy out of life.
If you want some social distancing fun and good conversation, please reach out. I am here for you! We can figure it out together while not hugging!
Leslie Sturgeon is the founder of Women Inspiring Women, and has been described as a reformed shy girl, a serial entrepreneur, a tireless leader of women in New Hampshire, a crazy dog lover and as someone who tackles life’s challenges head on with a positive attitude. She has spent her life learning about herself, taking massive action outside of her comfort zone and lived to talk about it. Leslie has “been there” and continues to transform into the best version of herself right along side you. She lives life without regret while embracing today and overflowing with excitement about what is yet to come. Leslie also likes girl talk and chocolate and laughing so hard she snorts or pees (sometimes both simultaneously).
You are looking great, girl!
Hey Girly – thanks. That picture is old but I am working on getting back to my thinner self. Hope you are well!
Leslie, you are forever, indeed an inspiration! Keeping it real, using humor and lots of level headed, compassionate wisdom. You rock, sister! I’m working on an art piece that might interest you. I’ll share it when I finish it. Hugs to you! I miss hugs terribly, too! And.. I am not wearing a bra.. wondering if it’s ok. To greet the professionals coming to clean the camp next door. I’m deciding. Yes. It’s fine. We weren’t so concerned about being bra-less in the 70s and 80s anyway..(at least I wasn’t.)
You warm my heart, Heidi Little! Thank you so much. Would love to get together this summer – and hug – and look at your art – and hug more. And not wear bras. Laugh a lot. Hug more just because we embrace awkwardness LOL. And smile. You in?
Leslie you look very beautiful first of all, you lost weight and look so much younger!
Love your new hair style too.
I am a Capricorn too and I second every word you wrote.
We are forever changed indeed!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and including me in your email!
Stay safe and continue to inspire like no one else does!
VANGIE PLIAKOS
Oh Vangie, you made me smile. Thank you. That picture was a few years old – I had a glam squad and an extraordinarily talented photographer (Susan Walker of Elia). I had lost 100 lbs. and gained some back, so working on that! We Capricorns do live up to the typical description, don’t we?! It is not lost on me that I have a slew of them in my life . . . we have to stick together, we get one another LOL. Hope you are staying fabulous as always!
I am channeling my anger at this awful disease to dig my heels in and save my business. I see the drain and I am determined not to circle around and be sucked in to the dark abyss. I cry a little every day, have lost some friends and acquaintances, have gained many pounds and have learned so much about the world and my own resilience. Much to my chagrin, I have come to understand “white privilege” a little better as I read about America’s history of slavery and police brutality. I have tried to imagine the struggles my paternal Grandmother faced coming to America for a new life only to face daily discrimination because she was labeled Mulatto.
When you look past the mask into my eyes you would see the glistening of a tear, but also the soft crow’s feet wrinkles indicating there is a faint smile under the mask indicating determination, compassion and hope that we can rise up and become a better, healthier, peaceful nation.
Heidi!! Your comments made me cry but also warmed my heart with the reminder that I am surrounded by amazing, resilient, smart, caring, compassionate women . . . badasses who sometimes get pushed down but always survive the fall. Knowing you, you are pushing through and availing yourself of all the resources that are available while digging deep into your own creativity and resourcefulness to come back even stronger. Soon the mask will come off and there will be tears of laughter – and our crow’s feet will become further enhanced with laugh lines. Here for you if you need anything my friend.
Leslie, How wonderful to read your words that so many of us have a hard time writing down. Yes the world has & continues to change. I miss you guys in NH but living near my granddaughter in Florida is great.
Nice to hear from you my friend. Where in Florida are you living?
Leslie, what a great article! You put into words what a lot of us are thinking about and struggling with. You are so right – we are all forever changed. This pandemic has prompted a period of reflection on what really matters for myself and so many others I know. And I am also totally digging more days in leggings and without the bra!
Thank you so much my friend. I have been thinking about you a lot lately – damn I miss you!