Toes in the Sand – Bahamas 2018
Sometimes We Need
to Check Ourselves . . .
By Leslie Sturgeon, WIW Founder
Like most women, I was beating myself up. Relentlessly. Predictably. And then had an epiphany of sorts.
I was feeling restless that I hadn’t completed much this first quarter of 2018. I had goals, objectives, and plans that included leaping tall buildings in a single bound. Then I would launch myself over row houses. Then skip through a city park and leap over the next high rise. That is how amazing my new year was going to be. I found myself beating myself up because I felt I barely stepped off the sidewalk, never mind took any leaps. And then it hit me and I had my first self check.
My new year was exactly as it should be. Dare I say – I had balance!
While certain business goals got tabled for a bit (for a variety of reasons), my last three months were LIFE. And upon reflection, I realized that my life has always been about LIFE and why is that a bad thing? Yes there have been health issues, death, grief and massive changes, but those happen to everyone. It is life. And perhaps it is because of those experiences that I now have this inner strength that makes me realize I can handle whatever life throws at me. We sometimes question if we can weather any storm until we are in the eye of it and have no choice.
After a few more checks and some quiet reflection, I recounted exactly what has transpired since Christmas:
FRIENDS / RELATIONSHIPS
- Spent the holidays with dear friends and laughed until it hurt.
- Had my closest friends over for a sleepover with way too much food, beverage and naughtiness.
- Enjoyed lunches and dinners with several friends throughout the months and made a few new ones, too! In between there were lots of texts, calls and Facebook messaging.
- Went on an unexpected cruise for a week in the Caribbean with 5 friends. This was life changing and resulted in many A-Ha’s during the week. Booked a flight to go with a dear friend on another weekend adventure in May.
- Continued navigating the dating world while gaining clarity about the ideal person for me!
FAMILY
- My brother and I closed on our parent’s home, packed up the contents and closed another chapter in this book (admittedly I shed a few tears). While doing so, we were able to spend some time together so that was really nice.
- My brother, my nephew and I both had birthdays recently as well!
BUSINESS / CAREER
- Had several TV, newspaper and blog interviews.
- Went to the NH Business Review Best of Business (BOB) Awards to receive the award on behalf of Women Inspiring Women’s NH Conference for Women for “Best Networking Event” in NH. Thank you everyone who voted.
- Attended the NH Business Review Outstanding Women in Business event to celebrate the achievement of some remarkable women.
- Hosted the Savvy Entrepreneurial Forum and an informative luncheon on relationships.
- Mentored and collaborated with WIW members (my favorite thing).
- Visited with several potential venues for WIW events and reached out to some corporate partners.
- Did massive brainstorming and planning for the 2018 and 2019 calendar of events.
- Delivered a presentation on small business success and scheduled in three other speaking events for 2018.
- Took steps to add more structure and systems into the inner workings of Women Inspiring Women – so long overdue but now I feel all big and fancy!
HOME
- Adopted a 2-year-old Dachshund and have been working hard to undo some of her bad habits. But most importantly, loved her like crazy!
- Spent lots of time cleaning up messes from said darling little dog.
- Tackled some massive organizational projects and planned a remodel of my living room.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
- Took a weekly class with dear friend Emily Clement.
- Read several personal development books that I was dying to read.
- Currently participating in several online “challenges” that I am confident will push me just a little!
HEALTH / WELLNESS
- Had significant dental work done that needed to be addressed for ages.
- Had my annual mammogram with a nerve-wracking callback but it is all good.
- Worked really hard to incorporate better sleep and more exercise into my life.
The reason I wanted to put this in list form is two-fold: (1) To encourage you to do the same when you are feeling “less than” or frustrated with yourself for what you perceive are your short comings; and (2) So I can print the list out, roll it up and slap myself with it if I ever feel bad again about doing LIFE and not some things on a to do list.
As you know, we go through our daily lives addressing things that need to be done and perhaps even putting out fires. We rarely stop for reflection or a pat on the back. Our perfectionist and people-pleasing tendencies rear their ugly heads, too. Can we all agree to focus on gratitude for the amazing lives we have, the people who are on the journey with us and who get IT and US and stop bashing ourselves constantly? If not, be prepared for a check or slap because I will expect you to give me one, too, if I fall back into this trap. High fives are so much less painful, do you agree?
Leslie Sturgeon is the founder of Women Inspiring Women, and has been described as a reformed shy girl, a serial entrepreneur, a tireless leader of women in New Hampshire, a crazy dog lover and as someone who tackles life’s challenges head on with a positive attitude. She has spent her life learning about herself, taking massive action outside of her comfort zone and lived to talk about it. Leslie has “been there” and continues to transform into the best version of herself right along side you. She lives life without regret while embracing today and overflowing with excitement about what is yet to come. Leslie also likes girl talk and chocolate and laughing so hard she snorts or pees (sometimes both simultaneously).
Leslie! Thank You! I needed to read this and I needed the reminder to celebrate all of our milestones and successes both personal and professional. Great timing an a big hug and thank you!
Thank you, girlfriend. Miss you.
Awesome blig post, Leslie.
Thank you so much!!
This is a wonderful model for answering the question, “What in the world have I been doing these past three months?” It is a long-awaited validation of severals area of life that are often overlooked when we list our “accomplishments”… I commend you!
Thank you, Laurie.
I’ve been struggling over the past couple of months to get much of anything significant accomplished. The good news is that the Law of Attraction seems to be vibrant in my life and brings things to me without a whole lot of effort … and so there have been some big things accomplished. But I haven’t been on the top of my game.
A good friend of mine reminded me of what I’ve been through this year. LIFE! My Mom passed last September. The time leading up to her death involved dementia, multiple strokes, multiple trips to Florida to coordinate care, check in on Mom and Dad, keep my siblings informed and coordinate our schedules and simply spend time with Mom during her final days. Oh, and did I mention having to evacuate for Hurricane Irma in the middle of it all.
In the midst of all that was happening with Mom, my younger brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He passed away this past April. The day after he died, my dad had a cardiac event, had open heart surgery, an unexpected cardiac arrest and landed him on a ventilator and in an chronic rehab situation that he is still in today. And did I mention the ending of a long term relationship … my choice.
On a positive note, in the midst of it all, in a series of unexpected miracles, I was able to purchase the property of my dreams and have begun to turn it into a retreat center. The center I envisioned years ago when I first stepped foot onto the property in Silver Lake, NH.
I am exhausted. I still haven’t had time to grieve the loss of my Mom. Or my brother. Or my Dad’s loss of independence. It’s so easy to focus on all I should have accomplished instead of focusing on all I have experienced. The miracles in the midst of the challenges.
LIFE!
Thank you so much for this post Leslie. I am so glad to be a new addition to this group. I have decided to take some time off for me. Just me. To get grounded. To integrate the lessons and the growth and the experiences of the past year. And to come back stronger than ever and with a whole new definition of what “strong” means.
Hugs and love,
Trisha
Trisha – thank you so very much for sharing what is in your heart. It means so much. You have certainly been through a lot – and as we have said – LIFE. Life happens day in and day out and it is how we manage it that makes the difference. You clearly have faced these challenges head on, knowing that you have the strength to persevere. And knowing that you have changed as a result – therein lies the gift. We will always beat ourselves up, but sometimes we just need to make a decision that at least for a few moments we will come up for air, or step back to reflect,or have a good cry or wave the white flag. Through the help of some friends, I am learning to not apologize for everything I perceive as shortcomings. How great it is to be surrounded by people who get me and know what I need to hear to be the best version of me. You got this, girlfriend. Do life on your terms and however it feels right for you. There is no timeline. All of these challenges are just blips that require you to pivot a little. Yes some are heartwrenching but it’s life – and life is magical.
Thrilled to have you as a friend and part of our Women Inspiring Women family.
Thank you so much for this. I truly needed to hear this right now.
Thank you so much, Heather. We are all in this together – if you need any help, let me know. – Leslie
Interesting blog, good information given about why women need to have free time. Was very useful, thanks for sharing the blog with us.
Thank you for your kind words, Tanya.
Thanks for sharing I’m trying to get my ministry group started I ran across this and wanted to say thanks for sharing needs tips to get me moving forward to help brings souls to Christ……